Processing Grief

04.02.20 | Care | by Kyle Davison Bair

Processing Grief

    In times of crisis, it’s normal to feel grief. Life may never go back to the way it used to be. That loss can hit hard regardless of how big or small the changes may be. It’s okay to grieve. These tips may help you with the grieving process.

    Tip 1: Feel what you feel. Don’t bury your emotions or explain them away. Give yourself freedom to feel what you feel. Jesus did (John 11:35).

    Some of us process privately. Others need to talk. With grief, it helps to talk it out with a trustworthy person, even if that’s not your normal habit. Grief can poison you if it’s left inside, unprocessed.

    Tip 2: Find a listening ear and tell the trustworthy person all about what you’re grieving. You’ll be amazed how good it feels just to talk it out. Also consider journaling everything you can about your experience. Process your grief. Don’t let it poison you.

    Loss hurts because we cared for what we lost. Losing what you love hurts.

    Tip 3: Even though it hurts, thank God sincerely for the good that you have lost. It was good. That’s why it hurts to lose it. By giving God thanks, even through the pain, we acknowledge that He is still on the throne. (See Job 1:21.) If our Father is still on the throne, then we are not victims. We’re children who can still run into the eager arms of our Father who loves us. He is not merely our God. He is “Our Father in heaven” (Matthew 6:9).

    Tip 4: Remember that grief is not the final word. Jesus endured the worst possible grief when the Father turned away from the Son as He hung on the cross. Yet Jesus chose that path because He knew joy was on the other side—“For the joy that was set before Him [Jesus] endured the cross” (Hebrews 11:2).

    Grief is terrible. Pain is horrid. The cross was brutal beyond compare. But it could not keep Jesus from His joy. In fact, it was the only pathway to it.

    There is good on the other side of grief. There will even be joy. The pathway there is trusting God. He brought the joy of eternal life out of the grief of the cross. He can bring joy back in this life as well.

    But remember, this is a journey. It’s okay for us not to feel joy today. Just take the first step by trusting that God may bring joy in the future.

    Kyle Davison Bair is Prayer Ministries Pastor at New Hope Church. He has a passion for people to call on the name of Jesus for direction and seek an authentic culture of prayer in this church.